


Five Folds

by ekzxo (2870)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Assault, M/M, Minor Violence, No Happy Ending Fest, Physical Abuse, Stalking behavior, Suspicion, Unhappy Ending, fic of holiday seasons :), mutual feelings, no happy ending, not really fluff though but tolerable romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:55:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22949701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2870/pseuds/ekzxo
Summary: The two bond one party after another, preferring each other's company backed up in the tight kitchen over anybody else. That is until Chanyeol develops feelings for Jongin that he does not want to return. Jongin begins to notice Chanyeol's persistence and cannot determine whether it is admirable or concerning.
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 7
Kudos: 41
Collections: No Happy Ending Fest - 2019





	Five Folds

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt #:** 153  
>  **Prompt:** Chanyeol met Kai at a party where they slept together. Now, weeks after the party, Chanyeol can't get Kai out of his head. He knows where he works, what gym he goes to, and what he has for dinner every night. Chanyeol's admiration is nothing more than an obsession.  
>  **Pairing/Main Character(s):** Chanyeol/Jongin  
>  **Side Characters(if any):** Baekhyun/Sehun  
>  **Word Count:** 14k  
>  **Warning(s)/Additional Tag(s):** stalking behavior  
>  **Author's note:** everything is sweetly divided up by seasons, carrying out this way to unravel the relationship between busy med student jongin and reserved jongin. 
> 
> thank you very much mods for being so patient with me for my second claim. got a bit carried away. 
> 
> anyways, I have to say that Chanyeol's actions and intentions are not romantic and shouldn't be seen as romantic. I did little to no studying on this theme while writing, just gathering up what I know from my hobby of watching handfuls of documentaries and thrillers dealing with these type of situations. I hope this doesn't make my story feel any less than what it is though. :): enjoy.

"No, I will not wrap my face with gauze!" Jongin whines, slapping Baekhyun's hand away from his face — which is desperately trying to cover up Jongin's forehead.

Baekhyun groans then plops onto the couch agross Jongin. "Gee, it'll look cooler."

"Exactly! I'll look cooler, but not hot!" 

"Oh, well you could've said so!" 

Baekhyun stands up immediately and tears Jongin's costume apart. The scrub top is ripped down to his belly button, making him feel vulnerable and excessively exposed.

"I didn't mean like this," Jongin fights.

"Come on, it's sexy. You look like an extra, very hot zombie nurse now. Earlier you just looked like you participated in a very messy surgery."

Jongin struts to the mirror in the hallway, giving his body a full scan. He sports one of his scrubs from his intern work at the hospital, it's a dull turquoise and has fake blood splattered all over it. Maybe Baekhyun is right, the slight tear makes it look a bit more appealing. He knows this costume is a bit basic, or too overrated, but he didn't think he was going to make it to Baekhyun and Sehun's Halloween party. Upon getting the day off suddenly, he threw on his scrubs, borrowed Sehun's blood from his vampire face makeup, and here he is now. Standing in front of the mirror, flexing his stomach.

Baekhyun comes behind him and wraps his arms around Jongin, intentionally shoving his palms into the ripped part of shirt.

"See, hot stuff! Sehun come here!" Baekhyun shouts directly into his ear, causing Jongin to give Baekhyun's a grimace while sticking out his tongue.

"Woah, hot ruined nurse! It looked like you got mauled by wolves earlier with just the blood."

Jongin looks further into the background of the mirror to see Sehun standing in his place, clapping dramatically.

"See! Right? I did a great job."

"Oh you came up with that idea? Cute."

Baekhyun lets go, shoving Jongin against the mirror. He can faintly hear Baekhyun muttering words into Sehun's ear. They're probably things he does not want to hear about. He hears something about clothes and tearing, _and okay gross_ , he does not want to hear about it.

"Anyways," Jongin says, shoving the two apart while he walks to the kitchen, "What time does this party start?"

Their house was decorated spookily with walls painted with blood splatters, skull heads on countertops, and cupcakes with gummy worms just before Jongin arrived. Despite Baekhyun being a pest in his hair, Jongin is not all that irritated, he's actually in a really good mood for some fun. He hopes to find something to get his mind off the real world for a bit tonight, reason for him wanting to look _good_ — not that he'll tell Baekhyun.

When people start really pouring in, Jongin catches a drink I’m his hands and lounges. He admits that his eyes wander more than they should, and not just to admire people’s costumes. 

“Oh gosh, it’s that look.”

Jongin averts his eyes in Baekhyun’s direction with a knitted forehead. “What look?”

“We’re best friends, Jongin. How else would I know that your facial expression means you’re trying to find somebody tonight?”

Flustered, Jongin whines, “What! No, no way. I am not!” 

“You are, and I have the perfect cutie. You guys are actually doing couples costumes without being aware tonight! I think I’m about to make the perfect match!”

“Who? Where?!”

Jongin bumps into Baekhyun’s back abruptly, unaware that he’s halted. Baekhyun turns around and gives him a skeptical look. “Oh, and you said you weren’t interested.”

“Okay, but—“

“Yeah, I thought so, Nini.” Baekhyun laces their fingers together and begins walking again. “Anyways, he’s Sehun's friend. Mine too, but we don’t talk much. So, more like acquaintances. But he’s sweet, I know so. Wanna meet him?”

“Okay, sure. But I hope he’s not clingy or anything? I am way too busy for this to be serious. This is just for tonight. To celebrate Halloween, right?”

“Let me look for him and talk him up! If I knew you were trying to look hot for someone, I would have told him since the start!” Baekhyun claps excitedly. Jongin wonders if a one night stand with a mutual friend is a good idea. “Sehun told me he’s been a little slumped up over his last. It’s been a year or so I think. This will be good for him.”

“I’m not trying to date him!”

“Yeah, okay, sweetie.”

“Baek. I do not want to hurt him.”

“You never know what will happen tonight,” Baekhyun says while wiggling his eyes. He lets go of Jongin’s hand and points over his shoulder then encourages him to shoo while he looks for the mystery guy. 

“Fine, fine. Bring him over. I’ll just be… I dunno, dancing with Sehun, I guess.”

“Yes! Shake that behind and when I bring him over he’ll get a kick out of it! You’re brilliant, Nini!”

Jongin mentally face palms with a pout I’m his face. He scans the house for a brief moment until he spots Sehun’s tall being in the center of the dance floor. He makes his way over there and wraps his arms around Sehun’s waist and playfully grinds against him. He feels Sehun tense beneath him before he’s turning around with a horrified expression. 

“Fuck, Jongin. I thought Baek was going to get the wrong side of this!”

“Nope, just me.”

Sehun shoves his shoulder with a straight face that makes Jongin feel guilty. But then he’s wiping it off and giggling. He reaches for Jongin’s hands and begins swinging them while they dance together. 

“How’s the party going? What do you think?”

Jongin hums. “Yeah, Baekhyun's done a good job.”

“Hey, I was apart of it too!”

“Yeah, yeah. You’re not too bad yourself.”

Someone clears their throat and Jongin looks over his shoulders with his hands grabbing Sehun’s a little tighter. 

“Find your own man to flirt with,” Baekhyun says poutily. He glances at his side and hauls someone closer towards their little circle. “Oh wait, I have for you!” 

“Oh,” Sehun says with a sly smirk. He lets go of Jongin’s hand and properly excuses all of them away from the dance floor. When they all find themselves in the kitchen Sehun exchanges glances between him and their unknown friend to Jongin. “Jongin this is Chanyeol, and Chanyeol, Jongin.”

Baekhyun stifles a laugh before shoving Jongin against Chanyeol’s chest. “Get to know each other, why don’t you!”

“Find me if you need anything,” Sehun says warmly but it’s also all filled with suggestions.

“I’d love to do ice breakers with you all but ice got an ass to claim,” Baekhyun says as Sehun saunters away. “More like, to mark because it’s already mine. Fuck! Toodaloo!” 

Jongin realizes that his body is still pressed up against Chanyeol’s. Pulling away, he even realizes that he didn’t give him a proper glance. He brings his eyes up to Chanyeol’s and gives himself to process how Chanyeol looks and maybe what he can get out of just that. He’s awfully tall, Jongin already knows. And his hair is a bit shaggy which makes him appear sweet and innocent. But his arms and hands say otherwise, they’re massive and slick with something shiny that gives Jongin the impression that he’s got an entire great body beneath the scrubs. His stethoscope hangs over his neck and allows Jongin to notice the dangling pieces pressing against his firm chest. And enough with that, he does have a cute face with doe eyes and a charming smile. 

“Any longer, and I’d think you're judging me,” Chanyeol says, suddenly breaking him out of his muse. 

“N-no, not at all. You’re just r-really nice looking.” Jongin bites his lip and mentally scolds himself. He’s so stupid. Where’d the stuttering come from?!

“I could say the same for you.”

“Thank you.”

Chanyeol leans against the counter and naturally, it makes he and Chanyeol’s faces come together closely as well. He mutters out, “Baekhyun told me a thing or two about you.”

“What?” Jongin’s color drains from his face. With how he was already acting today, he knows it’s nothing good. 

“One being, you’re aching for cock. Second, not much so about you, but he’s prepared a room.”

Jongin closes his eyes and whines. He’s feeling awfully humiliated. Yes, he wanted somebody for the night, but shouldn’t it involve a kind, and yet suggestive, conversation before hand? Shouldn’t they get to know each other shortly and not the help with some snooping, poorly behaved Baekhyun? Fuck. 

“I’m so sorry he was so blunt!” Jongin says apologetically with frustration. He begins to maneuver his way out the kitchen, anxious to bury himself into the guest bedroom that is always there just for him. And then does Jongin realize, the room they prepared is the guest room, Jongin’s second bedroom. Stupid. 

“Jongin, Jongin. Come on,” Chanyeol says from behind him. 

Jongin is pulled away from the stairs, faced with Chanyeol who has a face full of concern. 

“It’s not bad what he did back there. It’s fine. I want it, too.”

“Oh,” Jongin sighs. “But he was too straightforward telling you all of that information, my sole intention.”

Chanyeol shrugs. “He said to only give in if I was okay with something temporarily.”

“So you’re fine skipping all of that and just going straight into it? I mean, is that what you were expecting when Baekhyun told you so? I'm not looking for sparks or anything. I just… need release.”

“I’ll be your guy. Baekhyun wouldn’t just find _anybody_ for you. Don’t you trust his judgement?”

“No I do not.” Jongin gives Chanyeol a quick glance before pulling him up the stairs. “But he didn’t do a bad job this time.”

“Now we’re talking.”

Jongin gasps when he feels his ass being spanked through his thin scrubs material. Chanyeol does it again with another step and he moans this time. He quickly moves them into the guest room, essentially his other bedroom, and before he could further introduce Chanyeol into it, he’s being pressed up against the wall with force. Chanyeol’s lips immediately attack his, giving him no time to process it whatsoever. He feels their lips pressing together in synch but with rush and flurry. Their tongues wander against each other’s and that’s when Jongin has to thrust forward, attempting to gain friction against his hardening cock. He wraps his arms around Chanyeol’s waist and urges him to press against Jongin’s hips. Granted, Chanyeol slots his thigh in between Jongin’s leg and lets Jongin grind against it. He mewls into Chanyeol's mouth needily before pulling away. 

Chanyeol strips him in one second, ripping his scrubs off entirely and pulling his pants down along with his briefs. For a moment, Jongin wonders if the fake blood on his chest will drip with his sweat later on and make a big mess. But then again, that mess is the least of his worries. This is _his_ bedroom anyways.

Jongin makes his way to the bed, ignoring everything that wouldn’t matter at this point. He’s got a fine man he’s about to sleep with tonight and he doesn’t have to worry about what they’ll be the following day. Everything is as is and he’s ready to take it on tonight.

“I’m already stretched,” Jongin says slightly embarrassed for exposing himself so shamelessly. 

Chanyeol only flashes him a smirk, and pulls back. He strips in a quickness, revealing his thick hard-on in his palm, stroking it slowly, giving Jongin a look as if he wants to convince him that his hard cock is all his doing. It completely flatters Jongin as he absorbs the image of Chanyeol’s large fist wrapped around his large length.

“Wow,” Jongin whispers in awe. 

It was meant for just himself but apparently Chanyeol heard as well because he chuckles and says, “Yeah, babe? Massive isn’t it.”

“Uh…” Jongin wipes the corner of his lip where he feels an excessive amount of saliva. “Yes.”

“Can you take it?” Chanyeol says, almost mockingly, seeming to already know the answer.

Chanyeol knows he’s needy. He knows he wants it. Just by the mock and smirk he expresses, Chanyeol knows that whatever Jongin answers, he’ll take it. So Jongin makes it simple for him by breathing out a quick and smooth _yes_ , even if he knows it looks like a bit much to get in. 

“Don’t worry. You’ll get it wet for me with your mouth, won’t you? Have it slick with your spit. Baekhyun is a sweetheart, they hinted a thing or two to me by the spiked punch bowl.” 

Jongin tenses up. Did he reveal any of Jongin’s kinks? Not that he has much. But still, Chanyeol is a stranger. And it’s a one night stand. He’s not entirely fond of letting _just anybody_ know, even if Chanyeol is within their friends circle.

“What was it?”

Chanyeol places both palms onto Jongin’s cheeks. He raises his thumbs to rub the temples and coos, “Again, don’t worry. You look so concerned and curious. Ease up.”

“Okay, yeah. Sorry. I don’t do this too much.”

“Do what?” Chanyeol asks softly.

“I never really sleep with people. I just figured to do it tonight because I need to destress before my exams coming up. This is where we are now, actually.”

Chanyeol hums and retracts from Jongin. Just when Jongin thinks he’s said the wrong things, Chanyeol comes back from the bathroom with a bottle of lube and a condom packet. He wiggles them in his hands with a wide grin.

“Must be Sehun’s,” Chanyeol whistles highly. 

“Ah, he doesn’t top that much though.”

Chanyeol laughs and comes back to Jongin. “Are you implying that tiny, little Baekhyun is large?”

It’s Jongin’s turn to laugh. “Maybe they use it to clean up easier.” Then something lights up in his head. He playfully adds, “Or maybe they bought it just for you because they’ve been planning to set you up with somebody.”

“Do you think they always wanted to set me up with you?”

“Who knows,” Jongin answers. He goes back to lay down on his back and stretches his arms over his head before sitting straight up again. “Let’s get back to it.” 

Jongin’s bare knees meet the cold surface of the hardwood floor when Chanyeol’s firm grip pushes Jongin’s shoulders down. He pumps his shaft above Jongin’s face before tapping the head of his cock against Jongin’s plump bottom lip. Jongin gulps at the sight, aware that his throat will ache for the following days. But he deserves a treat. He loves hot cum dripping down his throat and the scratch behind this throat that follows. What sucks is the corners of his lips and his jaw sometimes, but he’s not whining. 

Who’s going to ignore a cock like this that’s pulsating right in between their lips just because of a little pain? Not Jongin!

Chanyeol cups the back of his neck, pulling Jongin instantly close. He’s not deep, but it was sudden enough for Jongin to gag on his cock. It earns a low moan from Chanyeol, so he decides to hum around it again as Chanyeol guides the pace. He hollows his cheeks and tightens his mouth around Chanyeol, sucking like his life depends on it.

Jongin is interrupted when Chanyeol pulls him off by force, tugging his hair. He thumbs Jongin’s lips before saying, “You’re only doing this to get it slick. Now spit.” 

“Yes, Chanyeol,” Jongin says right before lathering up Chanyeol’s cock with his saliva. 

“Good boy.”

Chanyeol raises him up and drops him onto the bed, spreading his legs wide. He rubs at Jongin’s hole before dipping a thumb into it, causing Jongin to snap his knees together. Chanyeol pries it apart and raises one of his legs over Jongin’s thigh, practically straddling it, preventing him from closing up again.

“You’re into this, right? I'm pretty forceful with you and called you… you know. Was that okay?”

“All consensual, yes,” Jongin responds with his heart fluttering at the worry Chanyeol gives him. 

Chanyeol nods in approval before pressing his tip right against Jongin’s entrance. He’s needy to feel it inside him already, but he knows Chanyeol enough from these last few moments. He knows Chanyeol will delay if Jongin goes against him or makes it too hard on them. If Jongin makes it hard on them, Chanyeol will make it hard on him. He doesn’t want that. So he patiently waits for Chanyeol to get in him. 

“Do you want this?” Chanyeol asks lowly. 

“Yes,” Jongin replies instantly.

“Then beg.”

Jongin clearly thought wrong. He expected begging and squirming and whining would certainly get Chanyeol to snap. But apparently it drives him to shove a dick in an ass. He’s an academic scholar, but he knows where to play his cards right. And if he needs to express a bit of neediness in filthy ways, he’ll do it to get what he wants. He speaks on podiums to address his presentations, he talks to doctors to express a patient's medical information. He can speak dirty if he needs to. 

“Please,” Jongin whines, “Fuck me. Please. Want your cock. So fucking big, please. Need you in me. Fuck me hard, tear me apart, please Chanyeol.”

Jongin hears the sound of Chanyeol’s lips forming into a smirk. His legs are raised up and away from the mattress and Chanyeol’s cock slowly sinks into him in one push. He feels so full of the size, head tilting up with his eyes screwed shut. It almost feels unreal to think a size like this is filling him up. He doesn’t move and for that, Jongin is thankful because Chanyeol is so thick and he only stretched himself this afternoon. He’s so amused to think he sealed Chanyeol so easily, though.

“Ready?” Chanyeol asks. 

And once again Jongin swoons at Chanyeol’s politeness despite his obvious dominance. The best of both worlds is offered to Jongin and he already knows he’s about to get the best fuck of his life. 

“Yes, please,” Jongin says obediently.

Chanyeol doesn’t know slow, he doesn’t know shallow. He plows into Jongin deep and quick, steady thrusts plunging right into Jongin without hesitation, without remorse. His hips snap vigorously, his nails make crescents into Jongin’s thigh. He’s a man without a lack of stamina as he thrusts in his own way, burying Jongin into the mattress. 

It’s so, so easy for Chanyeol. Jongin must wonder if it’s the size of his dick, making it easy for deep fast, frantic thrusts because he won’t slip out as easily. He thinks it’s the size of his body, the weight of his body pulling away and collapsing against Jongin repeatedly. The slap of Chanyeol’s hips against his ass and the way his legs stretch far back, not to mention the way Jongin hasn’t come in weeks make it enough for Jongin to want to come already even if it’s been only minutes. He holds it in as best as he can though, wanting it to last good for Chanyeol. But then he does some kind of movement while he slaps his ass and it makes Jongin lose his mind, subduing into a loud, writhing mess. 

“Chanyeol, please, please do something,” Jongin sobs, clutching his thighs closer to his chest, hoping it encourages Chanyeol to fuck him deep and hard. He wants it to hurt, he needs an out of body experience before he has to sit behind a desk in the next couple of days for two full hours. He wants to sit and wince and know that as he’s working hard to answer correctly, and his incentive will be the memories of this night.

“You’re too polite. Sweet, considerate boys get rewards,” Chanyeol says as he caresses Jongin’s legs, helping Jongin force them towards his body.

Before Jongin knows it, Chanyeol is diving fast and swift into him. Jongin swallows up the entire length, only for Chanyeol to pull out as far as possible and ram right back into him. The way Chanyeol fucks makes him see stars, it makes him shake and whimper, wanting to give all of himself just to Chanyeol. He presses his knees even closer to himself, almost over his shoulders if possible, as he basks in the way Chanyeol’s hips snap against him.

“Gonna come, gonna come!” Jongin whines, raising his arms over Chanyeol’s shoulders. 

Chanyeol pulls out and straddles Jongin’s lap. He discards the condom and wraps a single palm around both of their cocks, pumping with force and hurry. The both of them moan and groan together, coming on Jongin’s stomach.

Moments later when Jongin is catching his breath and Chanyeol is panting above him, Chanyeol sets off and uses the mattress sheets to wipe Jongin’s stomach. Both of them cringe after they realize what they’ve done to Sehun and Baekhyun’s guest bedroom. 

“So are you staying the night here?” Jongin asks with a tiresome yawn. 

“If you’d like.”

“I’m… I don’t know what happens after.”

Chanyeol pulls the sheets from one end and lays it onto Jongin, tucking it at the sides. He leaves a warm kiss on Jongin’s forehead, lingering longer than necessary, but Jongin melts underneath it.

“I’ll let you rest. We’ll see each other again. I’m sure of it. I will see you again,” Chanyeol says deep and thoughtfully. 

With that, Chanyeol waves and shuts the door quietly. It leaves Jongin to his aimless thoughts before he falls asleep. 

  
  


Baekhyun comes barging into the bedroom the following morning with smeared make up and just a loose shirt. Jongin swears that it is Sehun's and that he's wearing nothing beneath.

"Make yourself decent in front of your guests!" Jongin whines, pulling the sheets over his head tirely. He didn't have to bang on the door and make his presence obvious, reeking of an uncomfortable stench, meanwhile nearly nude.

"You're no guest," Baekhyun whines. "Your're my baby! So, how was last night?"

Jongin literally cringes, curling into himself and feeling his nerves bouncing off the walls. His face feels hot. It is suddenly way too hot under the blanket.

"Aw he's shy!" Jongin processes Sehun's voice all teasingly and bubbly. He doesn't come inside the bedroom though, so Jongin eases because of that.

"I take Sehun and I, the perfect couple, made the perfect match!"

Jongin whines before escaping from his blanket shield. He gives them a pout before squealing, "It was great! He was so good!"

"That's my boy!" Baekhyun says and gives him a slap on the leg through the blankets. He winces and gets off the bed quickly.

Jongin glances at the bed, but notices nothing. He groans, "We didn't even get anything anywhere."

"Yeah but naked bodies and possible bodily fluid, I am not here for it. Just wash them up, thank you very much!"

"Well," Jongin starts, reaching for Baekhyun's hand and actually lets them come into contact. "He was very memorable. Big, you know. But also charming. Super sweet. I didn't get his number but he said we'd more than likely see each other. Though what if I don’t feel anything else? I'm supposed to be busy, and I wanted him to be a one time thing. I don't really want anything with him. How do I break that to him?"

"I don't actually know what his intentions were. I just know he's a friendly guy. Sehun says the same about him. He too is really invested with his studies. This is his first time being out in a very social environment after a long time. Something about a traumatic incident recently. Sehun doesn't know much though, so I can't really say. But since there's something like that, maybe you can be good for him." Baekhyun actually sounding sensible, even if Jongin cannot entirely agree, is incredible.

Jongin adds, "But I can't be. I don't have the time for him."

"You're very sweet sometimes, and you deserve a little sweetness in your life!"

"Shut up." Jongin bites his lip then frowns.

Baekhyun stands up, gesturing towards the kitchen as if to say breakfast is ready. He lingers by the door frame for a moment, staring at Jongin warmly before commenting, "Really. He's apart of our friend-group. He wants to break out of that shell, Sehun told me. You two can still develop a cute friendship and make something out of it when you're both ready!"

Jongin is not entirely opposed. If given the chance, he will consider it. But for now, he knows himself best and does not want a serious commitment with someone he intended to have a one night stand with.

… 

Jongin spots him when he’s on his third serving of pumpkin pie and a side of cider to relieve his tight stomach. He grins with an effortlessly handsome look as he takes his strides to Jongin. He’s wearing an orange blazer with a black turtleneck and tight, tight black ripped jeans. It captures his figure so well, in a way where Jongin didn’t get the chance to admire because he saw him in scrubs, and then was too numb with his bare body. These fitting clothes do so much justice.

“Hey, how have you been?” Chanyeol says, with a voice just as sweet and warm as he remembers it.

Jongin smiles and extends his hand out to give him a quick shake. It’s a bit of a strange gesture to someone you’ve slept with in the past, but it doesn’t feel all too awkward. “I’ve been okay. The month just flew by. Been really busy. Thank you. And yourself?”

“Oh, deep, mindful research. Playing some instruments. Thinking of you. Nothing much.”

There’s the charm that makes Jongin’s knees buck and his cheeks go beet red. He can only seem to giggle.

It’s a good thing Chanyeol takes initiative to continue their conversation by asking if he’s eaten enough or what his favorite dish was. 

These were actually made by Baekhyun and Sehun’s families and brought here as extras, while some dishes aren’t leftovers and made just for their little event from other friends. It appears nobody really touched Sehun’s attempt at mash potatoes, since they weren’t really mashed enough. But Jongin’s brownies are going bit by bit, so that’s good for him.

Chanyeol says he liked his brownies more than Baekhyun's cookies, so that’s even better. 

“I’d be glad to give you a recipe,” Jongin tells him. 

Which, Chanyeol smirks and responds, “Now that requires an exchange of phone numbers. Or even emails. People still do that right? It's fun?”

"Chanyeol…" Jongin calls his name timid and playfully.

Just like that, they’re swapping phones and making contacts for each other. Jongin leaves a cub emoji by his name and when he gets his phone back he sees that Chanyeol left an egg plant and a chili pepper. It makes Jongin hide his smile in his hand. 

“For whenever you’re about to leave, can I walk you home?” 

“Oh, I don’t see why not. What about you though? Do you live around here?”

“A few more blocks away but it’s no problem, really.”

Chanyeol makes hand gestures as he speaks. It's endearing to Jongin. He remembers the many other things his hand does and now he's suddenly overwhelmed.

Grinning like an idiot, Jongin accepts his offer.

Baekhyun is trying to get the guests to play a festive game, but they turn him down. There are silly things that Jongin does not expect him to be serious about. He thinks that Baekhyun just wants to get laughs out of everyone by making the announcements. At halloween it was chocolate guessing in the form of skulls — it was melted twix in skull molding. This time he's asking them to pin the red thing on the turkey. What's the name of that thing again?

"He's a little goofy, huh?" Chanyeol mutters with a weird expression.

Jongin sips on his apple cider, refraining from laughing too much. "He is. It's really fun though. He's like the moon, you know? Always there."

"Yeah, Sehun goes on and on about him."

Curious and genuinely wanting _something_ to develop between them, Jongin suggests, "Tell me about you and Sehun, and I will tell you about me and Baek. I didn't know we were actually that close. We could of been friends a while back."

"Well, I knew Sehun because we were paired for a class. He was fun and smart. So, we just talked more outside of class. For like two years. Then something happened, Sehun was one of the few who still checked up on me. And I met Baek a few months ago, And he is who encouraged me to hang out more with you the day of the first party."

"Hmm, he's never talked about you. No offense to that, though," Jongin snickers, then adds. "We're going to have to scold him."

"I was very social back then but had a girl and never had time to do much with him besides talk about school. He came around when he noticed me being a little off. So, no need to scold him. He's alright."

Jongin hums. He understands it all. He does wonder though, if he's ever seen Chanyeol around, ever. This season is Sehun and Baekhyun's first at hosting events while they've lived together since April. He'd get it that with the time frames, Chanyeol wouldn't of been around, and during the summer there was never really anything going on because Sehun and Baekhyun went for a long trip together, leaving Jongin to have a quiet summer babysitting his young cousins and dabbling with some dance routines.

Baekhyun screams somewhere in the distance and raises the music higher. Chanyeol winces and laughs it off, making Jongin naturally plant a hand on Chanyeol's shoulder. He retracts when he notices Chanyeol stiffening. Jongin should remember what Sehun told both he and Baekhyun, that not everybody wants to be touched. Fortunately, Chanyeol apologizes for his sudden edge and Jongin easily lets it go, too."

"Now tell me about how you know Baekhyun and Sehun."

Jongin begins to explain once his pie is entirely gone, "Well opposite of your story entirely. I grew up with them. We did everything together from middle school, and now even doing college together. We three moved into a house together during the last year. And even though they got together, it still felt like just us three. But obviously, I couldn't take it anymore."

"Oh, so you live alone without them in your own place?"

"Yeah! It's so peaceful and quiet. The front is very… it's something unique. You'll see."

Chanyeol shifts in his seat. "Do you want to maybe go then?"

Jongin was never sure of Chanyeol's intentions to begin with. He is even more unsure right now, feeling as if Chanyeol is getting a bit pushy, being so persistent to take Jongin home. He confronts him shyly, "It's still a little early. Besides, please don't think that we'd do anything afterwards, if that's what you're expecting. Like I said, I don't do those things often."

"No, no. That's not what I thought at all! I'm just trying to build friendships. You?"

"Yeah, just friends. Is that good? Maybe something in the future but, besides that… friends?" From that, Chanyeol's expresion is unreadable, but it's something in the middle of confusion and amusement. Jongin is quick to clarify things once again, "I mean the future could be long or short, and it's not like I was planning things from our relationship now but I mean—"

"Don't worry. I get it. I'm just interested as friends, too. For now."

"Great. We're on the same page."

It's an hour or so since Chanyeol's suggestion to mingle with others, or dance around, or actually participate in Baekhyun's foolish game. Jongin is aware that he ate while doing all three of those things, his stomach is more unbearable as compared to earlier when they were just talking. He calls it a night, bidding Sehun and Baekhyun goodbyes with hugs and handshakes. They tell him to bring some food home but he declines gently. He searches for Chanyeol who's in a crowd with others in the backyard, sipping on a beer. That was something Jongin didn't participate in, nor does he usually anyways. He doesn't want to bother him, so he lingers for a good ten minutes until Chanyeol turns around and meets his eyes.

"Hey? Were you there the whole time?"

"I was just thinking while waiting for you."

Chanyeol hums and leads them out the front door. "About what?"

"How I'm going to burn this all off," Jongin whimpers while pinching his slight tummy.

"Ah, it's fine. You still look good."

Jongin sends him a grin before glancing down and following the path home. 

He is pretty fortunate that Sehun and Baekhyun didn't move too far because he still visits them so often, even besides the parties, and they come over just as often. If they live further, they might stop seeing each other, and easily like that, their friendship could go wrong somehow. And, Jongin is saving money because he doesn't have to pay for gas or most dinners since Baekhyun thinks he's such an expert chef after a few youtube videos.

"What do you usually like to eat?" Chanyeol asks through the silence.

Jongin realizes they've been walking in silence and crisp, cool air for about a few minutes. He continues their conversation, "I eat just about anything but mostly love chicken. Any type of chicken, but especially fried chicken. I can even eat it with so much different sides. Kimchi, mac and cheese, just some veggies, other pickled-veggie types, oh have you tried fried chicken with waffles?"

"Hmm, no, I haven't. I don't think so, but maybe we can get some together?"

"Of course," Jongin replies gladly, "You have my number!"

Chanyeol kicks a rock and Jongin does the same, they kick it and laugh all the way through the entire dimly lit stroll. 

Jongin notices the sign of his gym in the far distance. He usually doesn't go this direction, but because he was so distracted with the pebble that made he and Chanyeol play footsie, he decided to let it lead the way home. It really is a sign that he needs to go back to the gym.

"This is my place," Jongin says while pointing at the lawn with cute plants in front of it and a bear gnome by the mailbox.

"Ah, I see what you meant by unique." 

Jongin figures that he is noting the way the front of the house has a very massive window and porch but everything else is tiny, including the garageway and how the second floor only has one round window. That is what makes the trio believe they rented a funky, unique house, but it was most affordable for three high school best friends.

"The window?" Jongin asks anyways.

"Yeah they're both so different. What's this color in the daytime?"

Jongin snorts, then covers his mouth. "Do you mean what it looks like when you can see it? Because daytime or not, it's always the same."

"Ha, ha, Jongin."

"Well it's an olive green."

"Hm, I thought black, that's why I asked. Black is weird isn't it?"

"Yeah, super dark."

Chanyeol reaches for his hand, thumbing over his knuckles before dropping it. "It is dark in general, so please get in and rest well. Don't worry about over eating. Goodnight, Jongin."

Easily, Jongin knows that whether its a romantic relationship, or a friendship, Chanyeol is too sweet to let go. Despite the sex, he's just mushy and sweet and gentle and kind. Jongin needs more like that in his life because Baekhyun could be too much sometimes, and Sehun is too little. Chanyeol feels pretty right. A nice balance. He doesn't want to ignore his attempt at anything, and yet, he won't force anything to happen, either.

  
  


… 

  
  


There's a bag waiting for him on his porch. Jongin considers that a solicitor must of dropped by, but a vicious dog came by and scared him away, leaving his bag behind. That is a thing, right? It could happen. Mindlessly, Jongin hunches over to pick up the bag. He notices how heavy and light it is at the same time. The contents of this tote bag seems strange, considering he thinks that people usually fill it up with books. But this is different.

Jongin goes inside the safe comfort of his home and locks the door before taking a look inside the tote bag. He finds two large tubbawares of warm food, steam trapped in the glass. Fresh, Jongin thinks. The warmth kisses his face when he brings it even closer. He spots two pieces of fried chicken, though a bit soggy from the steaming warmth, and some very cheesy mac and cheese. Looking at the other container, he assumes its a dessert wrapped in napkins and predicts correctly, finding a variety of cookies. 

As Jongin thinks that someone really did leave their lunch behind, a notepaper drops. Jongin picks it up from the ground and reads the beautiful handwriting outloud, "This isn't a mistake. It's all for you."

"Sure, buddy," Jongin says coldly to himself. "Did someone have the wrong address?"

He stares into the bag even though its completely empty, well there is a canned coffee and a bag of chips. His eyes scrutinize the containers in front of him, as if the moment he takes his eyes away, they'll vanish. 

Jongin sighs. He accepts the meal.

Before he can properly eat it, he places his backpack on the couch and brings his food to the kitchen. He washes his hands then changes out of his scrubs. Then finally he turns on some music and indulges on the meal. The first bite of chicken absolutely makes his taste buds rile up. He chows it down faster than he'd like to, because now everything is all gone. Most nights after work, he watches the television and eats slowly because he doesn't know what to do with the rest of his day and nobody is asking for him anyways. But today he eats in record time.

Jongin gets lonely as well, eating dinner at home, but when he is thinking about only school, he pushes that pass him and reminds himself that there are weekends with his friends. 

He goes to bed early today, mumbling a soft thank you to nobody.

It seems to go on for a few days. Not consecutively, but for the past few weeks, he'd receive a meal every other day. There are some things he loves, but some, he feels bad for discarding. Around the first week, he left a sweet letter to give his gratitude to the kind stranger, and to mention what they could hold off on (he tried his best to be subtle). Jongin thinks its the elderly lady across the street from him, and then a few doors down. She's always seen with her daughters bringing loads of groceries into the house so often. She even invited Jongin once when Jongin had to help her when there was nobody around.

With Jongin's theory, he stops by Yerim's house on a day without class or internship.

"Hi, Yerim!" Jongin greets warmly with a welcoming smile."

"Oh, hi dear. Would you like to come inside?"

Jongin shakes his head. "Oh, no, I have somewhere to be today, actually, but I just want to say thank you for the food!"

"It would be my pleasure," Yerim frowns. "but, the last time I brought food was months ago. No need to take me every season, right? But you're so sincere, thank you, Jongin."

It's Jongin's turn to cast that same look of confusion that Yerim held. "But, the fried chicken and bibimbap and fried rice, and all the snacks and desserts and drinks with it?"

"Huh, hun?"

"I thought that you thought I was some starving college kid," Jongin laughs nervously. "Sorry. Somebody has been giving me food. But they only left a note the first time, so I don't know who it could be."

Yerim smiles and pats his shoulder. "You've got a secret admirer, Nini!"

"What? You're kidding."

"I'm not the one dropping these off. I could let you know if I see anybody, however!"

Jongin doesn't want to waste anymore of her time, or his, so he bids her a farewell, bowing politely and taking her offer. He walks away slowly with his hands behind his back with pure confusion. If not Yerim, then who?

For a definite fact, it is not Sehun, nor Baekhyun. They love him, but they wouldn't dare be this kind. Besides, he'd know the taste right away. This isn't Baekhyun's cooking. And Sehun would know him better and not put the things he hates inside these dishes.

The more Jongin eats, the more he _feels_ it. The more he visibly _sees_ it. 

Lately, Jongin has been feeling a bit sluggish, a feeling he hasn't felt so since he, Baekhyun, and Sehun lived together. He's still eating the mysterious admirer's dinner time meals and snacks everyday, always having leftovers that are reserved for the following morning. His stomach has a tiny pouch of fat and he doesn't feel like he's breathing right.

Jongin reapplies to the neighborhood gym that'll last for a month because he doesn't really know how long he'll keep coming. Besides, he doesn't exactly know if he can handle school and work, and now working out. 

It's a little passed sundown when he visits his nearby gym. He's in a tight grey shirt, some sweatpants, and awfully torn athletic shoes. He's not really comfortable with the tightness of his shirt but he thinks it'll really motivate him, reminding him why he's even here in the first place.

Jongin makes a beeline for the weights station, choosing to go for thirty pound dumbells. While it may not seem like a lot, its very much on behalf of him having not been active in so long. 

The gym is not as active around this time, surprisingly. As he takes a glance at his surroundings while stretching his arms over his shoulders, he spots a familiar face through the mirror. He doesn't recall where Chanyeol lives, or if he ever told him at all, but he does partially remember them talking about this gym. For how long Chanyeol has been a member here doesn't concern him. What does though, is the way Chanyeol continues to stand there with wide eyes, making no attempt to approach Jongin. 

Jongin waves at Chanyeol's reflection through the mirror, warmly greeting him in hopes that he'll come over. He does moments later after drinking his bottle of water in a way that makes Jongin lust a bit more than he should be. 

"Hey, what are you up to here?" Jongin asks.

"Ah," Chanyeol looks around and pokes behind them. "Treadmill."

"Busy right now? When I saw you, you were just leaning against the wall"

Chanyeol shakes his head. 

There's something a bit off. Jongin wonders if what he said was wrong. He didn't mean to come off as insulting or make Chnayeol feel as if he isn't working hard. Instead, Jongin shrugs and goes back to what he wanted to say, "Spot me then."

"Oh, sure," Chanyeol says a bit nervously.

Though Jongin did want to start small, he's got Chanyeol with him. He doesn't want to call Chanyeol for him to lift turquoise dumbells. 

They head to the bench press where Jongin does thirty still. Chanyeol stands above the bench and Jongin lays down, trying to calm his nerves. It's just two guys working out together. One of them is lifting weights and the other happens to be very, very attractive. Even from here, just looking over at the bar, he spots a fierce look of intimidation on Chanyeol's face. It's so captivating and makes him so giddy and anxious. 

Jongin clears his throat, "I'm going to start now."

Chanyeol nods and observes from his position, even counting for Jongin as he does two reps of fifteen until his arms feel like falling off. Just when he's forcing himself to finish the last one, Chanyeol lifts the bar of weights from him easily and sets it back down. Jongin lays breathlessly on the bench press for a moment before he gets up. When he does, he notices Chanyeol has added more ten pound weights to it and occupies Jongin's previous spot.

Jongin hastily gets around and spots him, though he doesn't focus on Chanyeol's comfort level, instead, he watches the bulge on Chanyeol's arm. He watches how he gives out breathy pants every time he raises the bar up. When it goes down, Jongin licks his lips every time. _Remain calm_ , Jongin reminds himself. 

Chanyeol finishes shortly and starts bouncing in place. "Treadmill with me? It's only fair."

Jongin gulps. He did want to see Chanyeol do more of _something_ , so sure, he supposes he can just run with him.

When they occupy the ones by the window, Jongin looks at Chanyeol's reflection before blankly staring at the gym setting. His speed is moderate while Chanyeol's is up pretty high. 

It gets Jongin thinking again, "So how long have you been coming to the gym."

"Oh, always. I am kind of a gym shark."

"You should accompany me more often then," Jongin says with a warm smile.

Chanyeol chuckles with his head tilted back. "Speaking of accompanying. Come home with me? For dinner. Just dinner, promise."

Jongin's heart flutters at the thought of Chanyeol remembering and respecting his wishes. He gives in easily, "I'd like that." Then he shakes his head, "But you don't mind me all sweaty do you?"

"You can freshen up at my place if you'd like."

When the time comes, Chanyeol insists to drive them. It makes Jongin grin knowing he doesn't have to walk back home right away, though, is Chanyeol going to drop him home when they're done for the night? He asks him and Chanyeol gives him, "You think I won't?" he sounds a bit offended, a little off just like some moments throughout the entire night. Sometimes happy to tease Jongin, a little bit of the time put off and confused. Jongin blames it on exhaustion. He must of done a lot before the treadmills, then continued to get back onto them just to be with Jongin. 

Chanyeol's house isn't all that far from Jongin's or the gym's or Sehun and Baekhyun's. Perhaps they really have stumbled upon each other when Jongin used to do morning walks. He hasn't done one of those in forever, ever since he started dedicating himself to nursing.

It isn't what Jongin expected, however. While Chanyeol is a large body filled with many bubbly emotions, his home doesn't appear the way he'd expect it to. Jongin knows that Chanyeol is capable of being a little intense and assertive, but his house is just… dark. It almost comes off as unfriendly, even if Jongin does not want to admit it. His blinds are black, furniture all black. The space is tight with only one bedroom and the basic rooms like the livingroom and kitchen, but its just so… crowded. Don't get Jongin wrong, the place is spotless. _Unwelcoming_ is what this all feels. 

"Sorry, you know some things about me. I've never really gotten myself out of this sort of personal slump until recently. I am actually doing renovations soon."

Jongin juts out his bottom lip as he pouts. "I am so glad you are letting go. If there is any way I can help, I would love to."

"Maybe you'd want to go shopping with me sometime in the near future just to get some new, brighter things?"

"With my busy schedule, I hope so."

Chanyeol leans forward then immediately retracts back. He scratches the back of his head nervously before guiding Jongin into the kitchen. 

"I've been cooking lately. Name something."

Jongin sits down and gives him a chuckle. "Don't you remember what I like?"

"Ah, I do have some breaded chicken if you'd like me to fry them up."

"Yes please," Jongn responds politely.

Jongin leans against his seat as he admires the expanse of Chanyeol's back. He could be everything Jongin is looking for. Too bad, Jongin has no intentions of dating anyone. He wonders if Chanyeol would be up for anything in the near, or far, future. Not actually dating or getting to know each other in a more intimate level, but they could be friends with _something_. Barely now, Jongin finds himself knowing little too nothing about Chanyeol despite their past interactions.

"Hey, so, you're about the same age as me, huh? What do you happen to be studying, by the way?"

Chanyeol hums while he gets the chicken into the hot oil. "I left shortly after that one semester with Sehun. I'm twenty five actually. I didn't see myself wanting to acquire any actual degree."

"Oh, I understand."

Chanyeol then laughs. "You don't have to. I mean you're really devoted to your studies, right?"

"I know. I do like my education and I like working for the field I'm in, but it doesn't mean I can't understand if it's worth it or not sometimes. I do feel like I'm putting way too much into this, but the outcome… that's what is the big picture."

"You're a good person, Jongin," Chanyeol says.

A part of Jongin obviously wants to bask in the appreciation, but he catches on the edge and tenseness in Chanyeol's voice that makes him feel like he'll be breaking boundaries if he were to say the wrong thing. He can simply say thanks, but it doesn't feel right in this moment. Chanyeol sounds as if he's saying his compliment out of regret, and that is the reason that gets Jongin apprehensive to respond. 

Silence go by, though the sound of dancing oil makes it feel comfortable. It's not to long until Chanyeol is setting two plates down with rice and chicken breasts. He gives Jongin a water bottle and settles himself with a can of soda. He confirms between them, making sure that Jongin is fine with water before settling into the seat next to Jongin.

Upon the first bite, Jongin is happy and content with the food he chews on after a strenuous evening of working out. He can't help but think of how awfully familiar the taste is on his tongue. Something about the consistent texture of rice just gives him that perfect chew. And the batter on the chicken is fried in a way that leaves a satisfying crunch in between his teeth. The flavor is a bit salty, just the way he likes it though. There is something so familiar.

Jongin ignores and indulges.

"So, don't you have exams coming up?"

"Oh, yeah. Just three and then a whole month of break! But I still have my volunteer work."

Chanyeol chews as he listens, then he asks another question, "What are you up to during christmas?"

"You know, Sehun and Baekhyun. That's all. Seeing my parents and siblings, of course."

"I heard about that. Christmas day, right? Do they ever stop partying?"

Jongin lets out a laugh. "I think Baekhyun is really into hosting events and Sehun doesn't know how to say no."

"Suppose we'll see each other there." Chanyeol gets up and begins to wash the empty dishes. He looks over his shoulder with a warm smile when he asks, "So, what do you want for christmas?"

Jongin feels his cheeks burn. "Oh, please, no thank you, Chanyeol. I'm fine, I promise."

"Who said I was getting you a gift?"

Again, his cheeks blaze on his face, probably a prominent scarlet shade. "Sorry, I just thought that—"

"I'll surprise you then."

"Chanyeol."

"I gotta use the restroom. You know what warm water does." 

"Chanyeol!"

It's a slow day, as most Fridays are. He doesn't expect for people to spend their good Friday nights at a bookstore as he does. He's here for work, but even then, on a typical Friday he'd be studying. Because Fridays are slow, he gets to enjoy himself with either studying in advance, reading a good book, or catching up on shows. Though he doesn't watch any that much, so that is out of the agenda today while he waits patiently for customers. 

Just as he thinks about the ambience of the empty bookstore, the front door chimes the bell, signaling a customer's entry. It does it about twice, and Jongin just assumes its the wind. It rings again and this time Jongin gets up, finding it suspicious that along with the dings, he does not hear footsteps. His head tilts to the front of the shop where he hopes to just spot someone that will make him feel sane. He's comforted when he spots Chanyeol. Though, it's what he thinks he spots but he's unsure because Chanyeol does not respond. When he races to the front, he sees the door swaying lightly, which it usually does after it's been opened. He turns to either sides of the street from outside. 

He swears he saw Chanyeol. But Chanyeol is nowhere to be seen.

… 

Jongin wishes his family happy holidays before hopping into his car and driving back into the city. He visits them often, but not as much as he'd like because he doesn't have spare time to drive for thirty minutes there and back. It's an awful reason, but a practical excuse that his entire family understands. He brought them extra pastries in order to have enough for new years, and promised that he'll call them on the night before the clock strikes.

In the cupholder, Jongin's phone is buzzing but he knows it's just Sehun or Baekhyun, probably asking him to buy things that they've forgotten. He's saving himself the time and effort ignoring it and heading straight for their house instead. 

Baekhyun and Sehun's house is covered with twinkling lights in the way that Jongin recalls their home in the past. Little things like this, he reminisces on and misses. He doesn’t have time to decorate his yard with snowmen or reindeers. For now he has a sign on a stick that says _Santa, please stop by!_

The first person to greet Jongin is Chanyeol, not so much to his surprise. They’ve been texting quite a lot lately and Jongin told him the time he’d try to get there. Even though Chanyeol is great with his social skills, he’s easily confessed that he’s developed a little attachment to Jongin and prefers his company along with Sehun’s over other people at parties. While he was very flattered, he was a bit disappointed in himself because his sole intention from night one was for there to be no connection whatsoever.

“Hey Santa’s little elf,” Chanyeol greets while draping his arm around Jongin's shoulder and guiding him further into the house. 

“Are you saying that because I’m short!” Jongin whines with a pout then slaps Chanyeol’s chest. 

“Oh, we’re getting a bit close here aren’t we!” Baekhyun teases from a distance, dragging Sehun in tow. 

Chanyeol chuckles, “Were just friends,” he says, though his hand trails south with a firm grip around Jongin’s waist.

When they’re face to face with Baekhyun, Jongin senses his stupid, smug expression. He’s acting like he knows something, which isn’t the case because he and Chanyeol have nothing going on. He’s fortunate for Chanyeol to say that, but he knows nothing stops Baekhyun and Sehun’s assumptions. 

“So, Nini, what did you get him? Because there’s a fat gift under the tree and it belongs to someone with your name, from the one and only… your eye candy.”

Jongin squirms in Chanyeol’s hold and whines, “Shut up, Baek.”

“Don’t you have an ass to stuff somewhere else than to prod your nose in something that’s not your business,” Chanyeol comments with a snide smirk. Jongin can’t help but snort and stick his tongue out at the couple.

“Hm, you’re probably right. We’ve got each other sexy Santa helper lingerie.”

“Didn’t need to know that,” Jongin mutters. He brushes off all this nonsense talk for a moment and pats Baekhyun’s back. “Anyways, merry christmas, I'm glad to spend ithe with you guys.”

“Aw, Jongin!” Baekhyun coos and wraps his arms around Jongin. 

Jongin ignores the way he feels Chanyeol tugging him back, away the from the hug. He looks over Baekhyun’s shoulder after their tight embrace and hugs Sehun, with less of a grip coming from Chanyeol.

When they dance away, Jongin turns to Chanyeol and glares at him briefly before flat out pouting. “You know you shouldn’t have to worry about Baek. He has a boyfriend. But that’s not even it, I am not interested all.” 

Chanyeol has a dark expression playing on his face that Jongin tries to ignore the same way he did with the uncomfortable possession during his hug with Baekhyun. Jongin raises his eyebrows at him to catch his attention and wipe that expression off his face. It works and now Chanyeol has a goofy grin on his face. “I know,” he says playfully, but something tells Jongin that he is still upset somehow. 

Jongin sees nothing of it anyways and tugs Chanyeol into the kitchen where he makes a plate for himself despite having a full meal at his family’s place. Food is always his comfort at Baekhyun’s fun-filled parties. He doesn’t dislike Baekhyun and Sehun’s other friends, but he’s never got to know any of them because of his studies. And yet he always makes it to their events, just for the food, and because he misses Sebaek very often than not. 

So, food. 

Food and _Chanyeol_ , apparently. 

“Have you eaten yet?” Jongin asks politely as he turns to Chanyeol who’s just leaning against the kitchen counter.

“Yeah, before you got here. Like an hour ago.”

“Oh, what did you do without me?”

“Eat, duh.”

Jongin lets out a laugh and introduces himself to the dining table, which is surprisingly spotless. 

This party is filled with less people than thanksgiving, while halloween was a terrible mess. He assumes the new years one will be, if anything, even more hectic beyond all of them. Though, he kinda wishes sometimes it could just be he, Sehun, and Baekhyun. And maybe even Chanyeol. 

He’ll remember to ask Baekhyun what the plans are for New Years. He might be lucky, because if Jongin hasn’t heard about a New Years this means that perhaps, there is none! 

“But really, who else do you know amongst Sehun and Baekhyun’s friends?”

“Do you know Jongdae? I don’t really interact with anyone here. I mostly know him. Sehun’s other favorite friend other than you is Jongdae. But I am aquatinted to almost everyone here.”

“Cute.” Jongin sighs. “I never had time for bonding with any of them. But I do like Jongdae a lot.”

“Yeah?”

“Not like that,” Jongin sighs again, giving him another pointed look. He doesn’t look at Chanyeol, staring blankly at his plate, when he states, “I’m not interested in anyone, Chanyeol.”

“But what about me?”

“What about you?” Jongin says before her takes a large scoop of shells pasta into his mouth.

“I still think that… I am really into you. I know you’re afraid of balancing your priorities. Trust me, I won’t be a distraction. I won’t feel neglected. I can take care of myself. Most importantly, I just want to take care of you. I want you to talk to me whenever you want without holding back. I want to be someone you think about then can come to for comfort when you think you’re having a hard time with your medical school and practices. Just want to be there for you, Jongin.”

“Chanyeol, I think I have to be selfish here.” 

Chanyeol looks as if he's about to oppose, but then he sinks into his seat and releases a low groan. He seems so disappointed, in more of a way coming from a child with a bad temper, than someone who's just gotten rejected.

"I get it. Don't want to push you or anything."

Jongin hums, relieved that Chanyeol gets it. He did pry when Jongin told him once or twice that he didn't want this in the past, but maybe the third time's the charm and Chanyeol will move on. As much as Jongin doesn't want to admit it, he doesn't want Chanyeol to move on either. He enjoys his company when he's being fun and thoughtful. He wouldn't want to know how gym days are without him because he'd be off on dates, even if Jongin's only gone with him twice. Jongin just doesn't want to know.

"I still want to give you your gift though."

"I'd accept it, thank you Chanyeol. But I didn't get you anything. I didn't get Sehun and Baekhyun anything either. I was going to buy them dinner and maybe offer to clean up their house just once."

"I have an idea," Chanyeol says quickly in response. 

"I could try to pick up something, yeah, what is it?"

"You won't have to."

Jongin perks up at that. "Oh are you into handmade gifts?"

"Be my new years kiss."

Stunned and perplexed, Jongin's mouth drops and his eyes widen. He's feeling an overwhelming flurry of emotions, ones in which he can't tell are good or bad feelings. Jongin doesn't do anything but duck his head, blush ferociously, and eat his food. 

Chanyeol gets him a creamy knitted sweater and a gift card to Chnayeol's favorite restaurant that he thinks Jongin would like, plus a massaging pillow. He promises no innuendos follow. Somehow they sleep together with Jongin's face buried into the pillow with Chanyeol plowing him from behind.

Jongin is fortunate that Baekhyun and Sehun only invite close friends, and Chanyeol, because apparently to Baekhyun, he thinks that Jongin and Chanyeol are quite close. Everyone is huddled up in an intimate space. It takes Jongin to spot Baekhyun pulling down Sehun for a kiss in order for him to remember to grant Chanyeol's only wish.

… 

Everything is fine. That's what Jongin repeats to himself. But there is something, a little nerve that keeps pestering him. Somewhere in his chest, or his gut, or head, something gives him goosebumps whenever he is out tending to his regular routines. At the gym, he feels uncomfortable, but he wonders if it could be the way that he asked Chanyeol to stop coming with him. Maybe there are preying eyes on him from other gym attenders. Is it crazy that he's grown attached to Chanyeol that it feels weird when he is not around? He has not received anymore food either but that doesn't stop him from seeing shadows seep into his livingroom every now and then that were never around last year.

Jongin got a cab to drop him off from the hospital to work because he had a funny feeling about being isolated in his car. He even tightens his grip around his backpack as he walks into the store. While he swings the door open, he happens to notice Chanyeol in the psychological thrillers section. His heart warms at the sight of Chanyeol biting his lip while flipping through pages, candid and curiously. 

"Chanyeol! Hi," Jongin greets happily, already feeling a bit better just from the presence of Chanyeol. 

"Hello, Jongin! Nice to see you here. Is this your shift?"

"Yeah, yeah. But I have a few minutes to spare." Jongin drops the bookbag onto the ground. "I actually wanted to confess something about our last talk." Chanyeol slips the book beneath his arm and nods. "We haven't talked since New Years and I still feel a bit bad about Christmas. I thought about it, really deeply. I would like to go on a date with you, if you'd like."

Chanyeol's jaw twitches and his eyes widen. His head slowly shakes up and down before bursting out into a big fat grin. "What made you change your mind."

"I always liked you but couldn't be with you. You knew that. I just think I am ready now." Jongin does not include the part where he thinks Chanyeol makes him feel safe. He wouldn't want Chanyeol to feel as if Jongin does have an actual intent to be with him in a selfish way.

"So a date then." Jongin nods happily in response. "Okay, after your shift."

"You don't mind coming back?"

"Of course not. As a matter of fact, I will be here. I'll be around."

Jongin leans forward and shares a quick kiss with Chanyeol that results him being pushed up against the bookshelf. He's the one to pull apart first, after their breathless lip locking because he realizes time is getting ahead of its self and he'll be late to clock in. 

"Here, let me ring that up for—" 

Chanyeol retracts back while gripping the book tight in his hands. "No."

"Oh, sorry. I just thought that…"

"I'll see you soon, Jongin." Chanyeol shoves the book somewhere high and storms out the bookstore so fast, he hits Jongin with a gust of wind.

… 

Valentine's is spent lovingly without the pink and red hearts. It's spent, for once, at Jongin's house. No big gathering, just his favorites like the New Years night. Only this time, he and Chanyeol are so-called exclusive. Jongin connects with Chanyeol differently and he's missed out on a couple months with him. He could of been happy, happily in a relationship before the winter holidays but he didn't trust his schedule and himself.

Jongin and Chanyeol sit cuddled up on his tiny couch while Baekhyun and Sehun occupy the entire ground. Every now and then in between the movie, he'd intentionally kick Baekhyun in the head playfully. Sehun would grumble then continue to claim Baekhyun's chest. Chanyeol keeps pressing his body against Jongin's and latching his lips with Jongin's neck each time his direction either is not on Chanyeol or the television. It stirs Jongin's loins to think that there is somebody who cares about wanting his attention so much.

The leftovers were put away about an hour ago, but when he sees Baekhyun getting up, announcing that he wants to warm up some, Jongin tries to get up to eat with him. 

Jongin been wanting to try to get Jongin alone to talk about he and Chanyeol's relationship. He's desperate to know if it's too soon to develop it into something further like moving in. Since he's been with Chanyeol, it's been nothing but peaceful and serene. There are some instances where Chanyeol shows up unannounced, which gets Jongin a bit uncomfortable and distracted, but all he wants to do is feed Jongin or hold him so Jongin forgets it all.

Having a conversation with Baekhyun fails when Chanyeol wraps his arms tightly around Jongin's waist, refusing to let him go.

"Stay with me, babe."

"Chanyeol," Jongin whines and gently scratches his arms.

There's a look in Chanyeol's eyes that he can't decipher, but there's nothing playful within them. It's almost as if he's disappointed, wanting him to stay put. Feeling a loss of his appetite and gaining apprehension towards Chanyeol, he slouches back against Chanyeol's chest.

"Will you get me a plate then, babe?" Jongin asks sweetly, trying to diminish his awkward feelings. 

"Of course, Ni," Chanyeol responds then proceeds to kiss him quickly before getting up.

Sehun peers his head up and gives him a funny look before tucking his head beneath the blankets. Within seconds, Jongin's phone buzzes against the couch. He glances at it to spot Sehun's name while reading, _I think your boy wants to spend some alone time with you._

"I'm not going to kick you two out so soon," Jongin mumbles quietly.

Sehun gets up abruptly and retreats to the kitchen where Jongin can hear him saying, "Just pack the food. I wanna go now, baby."

"Don't you want to finish the movie with Jonginie and Chan?"

"We're hardly paying any attention anymore."

Chanyeol makes a clicking sound with his tongue before agreeing, "Yeah, you deserve to spend some time together."

"Oh, you're not saying it just in spite of us but you two!" Baekhyun shouts out loud and starts laughing frantically. 

Jongin hears no further response besides footsteps. He spots Baekhyun putting on his sweater and picking up their wallets and cellphones. 

"So you two are going so soon?" Jongin asks with a pout.

Baekhyun shrugs. "I don't want to, but yeah. Happy Valentines, Jongin!" He gives him a tight squeeze and pecks his cheek quickly, not without biting it before pulling away.

Sehun and Chanyeol's farewells fade in the distance with Jongin saying goodbye to Sehun with an equally big embrace. Jongin doesn't think Baekhyun and Chanyeol share anything besides an awkward handshake. 

Jongin walks Baekhyun and Sehun out happily and closes the door softly once he notices them get into their car. He turns around and picks up the blankets to throw onto the couch plops right onto it.

"Do you prefer them over me?"

Jongin giggles, laughing into his hand at Chanyeol's silly comment. He notices Chanyeol doesn't play around in response, so he looks up, and spots Chanyeol glaring in his direction with his ears and cheeks appearing scorching, bright red. His eyebrows are deeply knitted and he's breathing through his nose fiercely. It's everything Jongin has never seen before, nothing that Jongin would ever expect out of Chanyeol.

"I think my relationship with you is different than my relationship with theirs, so I can't even answer that, Chanyeol."

"You're trying to break apart Baekhyun and Sehun. You've always looked at Baekhyun differently."

Jongin rises from the couch and voices out his sudden frustration, "We're friends. I told you that from the start. You can't expect me to drop my best friends for you. They care about me as much as you claim to. You said you want to care for me and be there, I've been happy accepting that, but not when you do _this_."

Chanyeol tilts his head in confusion. Coldly, he responds, "Do what, baby?"

"You said I am trying to separate Baekyun but it seems like you're the one separating me from them."

What Jongin doesn't expect from Chanyeol is to be shoved back into the wall. He winces when his shoulders press too harshly against it with his head naturally lulling back. His terror heightens when Chanyeol forces him even harder into the wall with his hand wrapped around Jongin's neck.

“I’m supposed to be the only one to care for you.” Jongin shivers at Chanyeol's deep, cunning tone. His breath fans against Jongin's face, suffocating him beneath it. His face softens, then he's adding, “Don’t you notice I’m the only one who looks out for you? Since I’ve met you, I knew you needed help but you never wanted to trouble anyone. I’ve always been there to feed you, make sure you get home safe from work and your hobbies and school.”

“What are you talking about?”

Chanyeol chuckles in a way that terrifies Jongin even more. He's only seen the antagonists laugh like this when they execute the prime time of their devious plan. It's terrifying Jongin more than Chanyeol's harsh shoves and suggestive words. There's no humor with the laugh that Chanyeol's given him many times before.

“You felt like you’ve been watched? That’s me, baby. I won't let anything happen to you like my last."

Jongin's breath hitches. Before he can form _something_ , Chanyeol's name is being called out in the distance from Sehun. He tries to scream for Sehun but his voice becomes mute with Chanyeol's mouth on top of his. He squirms and tries to shove him off but its no use with Chanyeol pressing down into him even rougher. He gathers it in his system to bite Chanyeol, to which he succeeds, only until Chanyeol clamps his hand around Jongin's mouth and shoves him into the bedroom.

"You're going to shut the fuck up, okay, baby?"

The door swings open and Sehun can be heard from the livingroom, “Hey! Jongin? Chanyeol? We’ve forgot our left overs. _Oh_ — they already started." There is some more shuffling while Jongin tries to fight against Chanyeol's rough grip. "Well just be on our way then!”

“ _Seh-_ “ 

“Jongin?”

Chanyeol twists Jongin's arms behind his back before brutally lands his foot into Jongin's stomach. He winces at both ministrations but it only gets worse with Jongin's scalp aching from the way Chanyeol pulls him towards the corner of Jongin's bedroom. Chanyeol seeks something in his backpack that is unidentifiable to Jongin because of the tears stinging his eyes.

"God, I told you to shut up. Do you know what happens when you don't listen?"

"Chanyeol," Jongin whimpers quietly while holding his own abdomen. 

Chanyeol ignores Jongin by stepping out of the bedroom. He races behind quickly, spotting Sehun who happens to barely turn around. This is not Jongin's best idea because the moment he tries to run towards Sehun, Chanyeol snakes an arm around his neck and plants the gun firmly against his cheek.

"What the fuck! Chanyeol!" Sehun shouts in a level between mortification and shock. Jongin doesn't blame him, he didn't know he was friends with a psychotic man who wants control over Jongin.

"Don't move or I'll shoot."

Sehun raises his hands up slowly and mutters, "I won't. Just… why, Chanyeol?"

"No questions, Sehun!"

Jongin clears his throat and tries his best to keep his voice steady as he asks gently, not wanting to provoke him, "What do you want from me, Chanyeol?"

"I just want you, baby. Only us two. None of them. Not Sehun, not even Baekhyun. It's only you and I."

"Okay, just let Sehun go, it'll be you and I," Jongin convinces. He carefully turns his head as best as he can with Chanyeol's arm suffocating him. "Only us? I like that. Please, I want it to be just us. Tell him to go."

Chanyeol's dark expression softens when they make eye contact. The corner of his lips quirk into a warm smile. Even as he presents Jongin with the gentle smile he always gave, Jongin does not feel the slightest slight ounce of warmth coming from him. Jongin smiles back just as happily even though it hurts to pretend to be this happy when he's terrified for his life.

"Will you let me go? You're hurting me, baby. And let him leave safely?"

"If I let him go, how do we know he won't say anything."

"I won't!" Sehun shouts quickly. 

Chanyeol scoffs, and lets go of Jongin but not without pecking his cheek. "See what I mean. You have awful friends. He was prepared to leave, while he thought you were in danger. Luckily, I'm here to protect you sweetheart." Chanyeol cups his cheeks and kisses his lips, Jongin forces himself to reciprocate. When Chanyeol pulls away first, he turns to Sehun and spits, "You're a fool, Sehun. Pathetic."

"I know," Sehun says softly. "Let me go? I can't say anything, I'm scared. And besides, we're friends, I want you two happy. I wouldn't separate you two, would I?"

"Maybe you won't. And I trust you, you are my friend, too. But Baekhyun, he's the one I'm worried about! He's going to take Jongin away from me!" Chanyeol yells so aggressively that it pierces Jongin's ears.

"No, I won't tell him. I want to just hug Jongin goodbye then go. You can even watch and count down the seconds. It'll be just for a bit."

Jongin is frantically wondering whether Sehun is playing along with him or if he thinks Jongin means all of this. He would never runaway with somebody like this. He would never let some like Chanyeol take advantage of him in this way. Jongin gives him wide eyes from where he stands and Sehun seems to understand because he shares a similar look with him before slowly taking steps closer to he and Chanyeol.

"Can I?"

"And you'll leave us alone? You and your boyfriend will never step foot anywhere near me and my boyfriend?"

Sehun nods and stands a few feet away from Jongin now. He can see how much Sehun is sweating with the way it drips down his temple. He sees Sehun's hands shaking even though his hands are now in his jean pockets. He takes a deep breath and looks to Chanyeol with a soft smile, as soft and lovingly as he can present it to Chanyeol for him to be on his side. He even mouths a tiny _please_. Chanyeol nods.

When Sehun wraps his arms around Jongin, Jongin completely collapses into the hug, feeling relieved to have somebody with him that he feels safe with. He no longer feels safe with Chanyeol and that makes him so uncomfortable. He told Chanyeol so many things, he shared so many gentle touches with Chanyeol. There is nothing wrong with Chanyeol, he's just a bit lost and delusional. Jongin blames it on the last lover he had who must of jumbled his head into doing questionable things. He's gone crazy and somewhere along the way, Jongin can't believe he never noticed the occasional encounters that were way too strange to be coincidences. He hadn't noticed Chanyeol's eager aggressiveness or harsh touches whatsoever, only picking him out to be an assertive guy. He feels like he'd never be able to open up and trust anybody like this again.

Jongin is in too deep with the hug that he barely notices that Chanyeol is already prying their bodies off each other. Jongin lets out a whimper when he parts with Sehun, but then a loud groan overtakes his own sound. He opens his eyes and spots Chanyeol holding his face and Sehun holding onto his elbow, the other hand has Chanyeol's own gun threatening him. 

Baekhyun appears with police following behind him, preparing their guns but putting them down when one officer places handcuffs on Chanyeol. Jongin can't seem to look despite feeling relieved. He stares blankly at the wallas the commotion goes on behind him. He hears Chanyeol crying for him, asking Jongin to make them stop. He hears Baekhyun consulting Sehun while crying at the same time. Why isn't Jongin crying? He's just numb. He shakes when two bodies engulf him tightly and that's when he lets go of everything.

"What did you do Sehun?" Jongin says with his face buried into Baekhyun's neck.

"I elbowed that fucker in the face. And Baekhyun came just in time because I had him on call the entire time because I didn't know where the left overs were."

"Thank you guys," Jongin mutters tiredly.

"Do you want to come over to ours?"

Jongin shakes his head. "Can you stay here?"

"Back at the original home with the original three? Of course."

… 

Nothing feels the same anymore. Everytime he exits his house, he is apprehensive with who he passes by. His neighbors look at him differently, expressing pity when they see him sometimes, though nobody knows his situation besides probably seeing Chanyeol get escorted out from the police. Yeri gives him extra food more often, actually knocking on his door and handing it to him. She must know Chanyeol had been the secret admirer she suggested. She must be the one to tell the other neighbors. When he is volunteering at the hospital, he continues to help out patients and visitors, but is hesitant to give out his real name. He now goes by Kai and only keeps his main name amongst family, really close friends, and peers in both the bookstore, and his medical work field. 

Sehun and Baekhyun make him feel differently too, regretting the whole idea of bringing Chanyeol into his life. They make sure to always make him feel comfortable and safe, but even then, it gets a little suffocating.

"Hi. Just one book today." A shopper says while sliding the book onto the counter. In the middle of Jongin ringing it up, she asks, "Are some of these books donated or returned?"

"Not unless you picked this up on the shelves to my right. We sell only fresh copies on within the shop otherwise."

"Ah, I got this over there." She points to the far end of the shop by the window, which is where all the new books are stocked.

Jongin frowns and asks politely, "Is there something wrong?" He looks at the book in his hand and his heart out of his chest. Its a book he remembers Chanyeol owning. Some dark, twisted psychological thriller. He quickly bags it and awaits for her response.

"Is there a problem with it?" She says as if she noticed Jongin's sudden terror.

"No, it's just a personal thing. But why do you ask if we accepted old books? This looks brand new to me."

"Not this one, but another one is littered with black marker and there's a letter inside it."

Jongin asks if she can show it to him before she leaves, to which she'd be happy to because it was something she was genuinely curious and worried about. He rings her up and she thanks him for the concern of the treatment of their books as she's a very avid book lover. They then walk to the front end of the shop where she picks out a book from one of the higher shelves. From here, he can already see some ink bleeding from the book pages within the outside. There are no folds or creases, just dark, hideous black ink.

"I was wondering if it was an accident that it was placed here. Or maybe someone just wanted to vandalize this book in particular," She mentions while handing it to him. "If I'm not wrong, your name is Jongin from your nametag. I think there's a note for a Jongin."

_No, no, no, please no._

"Is everything alright?"

Jongin nods. "Have a nice day. I am just going to set this aside and let my boss have a look at it."

"Well, you should check out the letter. It's actually really sweet." With that she waves with the hand that holds her paper bag and escapes the shop with the hanging doorbell chiming. 

Jongin's hands shake around the book while he makes his way back to the register. He sets it down gently and contemplates for a good minute on whether he wants to find the closure or let this all slip into the back of his mind. He can't forget about these things if there were no answers given to allow him to move on. He will forever be haunted with the good and bad memories and possibilities between he and Chanyeol. 

As Jongin brushes through the pages, all he sees are scribbles of other words. The only letters that remain are what makes up Jongin's name. Every single word is etched away in black until all Jongin can seem to find are letters of his name within every single page for two hundred pages. He shivers and shakes while he finds the last page with the _sweet letter_. 

> _Until the end of time, I will be watching you. My heart is yours, as much as yours is mine. I deserve you in every way, and you deserve me. What would you be without me? You need me more than I need you. For that, I will always be here. I have the greatest pleasure to be caring for you and loving you the way I do. You will be with me forever. I know so. You are always with me. I am always with you. One day you will know all I do for you because you will find this message._

  
  



End file.
